A geeky girl admits, even technology has it limits.

Hope everyone’s holidays were joyful, as for mine, not so much. This holiday season presented one of the most difficult life challenges I’ve yet to encounter. The morning of Christmas Eve, my mother unexpectedly passed away. Five minutes before I received the phone call, I posted a photo of my sister, myself, my mom and daughter at the Nutcracker the previous night. Later that evening once I was over the initial shook, I updated my facebook status with the news. My news feed read:

• December 23, 2011 4:55 pm Status ‘very excited to be going to the Nutcracker’
• December 24, 2011 11:09 am Photo posted title ‘@ Nutcracker with my mom, sister and Simone’
• December 24, 2011 8:23 pm ‘heart is heavy as my mom has suddenly transitioned from this world today, but I am grateful to have spent last night with her at the Nutcracker’

Wow, here was a chronology via social media technology capturing how quickly my life had changed, forever. The responses from my post were overwhelming. The outpouring of kind words from a virtual international community provided support and comfort in a way I had never imagined.

Technology is so intrinsic in everyday life, not just as a means of make a living, but here it was/is playing a part in assisting me through one of the most somber times in my life. Not only did technology act as a platform allowing people to share words of encouragement and comfort, but the use of technology was key in planning my mom’s memorial too. From scanning in old photos that were used in a slideshow presented at the memorial, to creating the funeral program from a template found online as well as showing a video posted on youtube of my mom and son. Additionally, working on creating a memorial site via Legacy.com and writing this blog has provided to be somewhat cathartic.

While technology is woven into our lives and is present in all life stages from baby videos, wedding announcements, party invites, etc., it still has limitations. One, it can’t stop people from making WTF statement while expressing their sympathies. Sadly, this is not my first time dealing with the loss of a loved one, so I have quite a bit of experience with condolences. Because people’s intentions are good, I do not get upset when their choices of words are flat out bad. Here are my top 6 things that should not be said (had 10 but could only narrow down to 6, all from real life experience):

6-“What happened!?” You are asking them to relive a very painful event and chances are you are not the first. If they choose to share, great, otherwise, don’t ask.

5-”I left you several messages and texts, how come you didn’t call me back?” I am guessing they are preoccupied and the last thing they need is more pressure.

4-“This is awful!” “This is so terrible!””You must feel horrible” Pretty sure they know these things and are feeling pretty bad, no need for reinforcement there.

3-“I don’t do well with death” “I don’t like Death” Not about you and your process. Truth be told, unless their name is Dr. Kevorkian, chances are they are not throwing a ticker tape parade for the arrival of the Grim Reaper even in situations where the person who has passed may have been suffering.

2-“You have loss so many people in your life, your brother, your dad…” Roll call of their loss loved ones, not needed. I have a hunch, they know.

1- “I know this may be inappropriate, but you look good in that dress” A man said this to me while I was preparing to speak at my mom’s memorial. First, if you prefix your sentence with “I know this is inappropriate” stop right there. Second, Really!?

An ultimate limitation of technology is while it does enable me to be connected to many people; it can’t replace or replicate connecting with people. Making a connection with a person can be done sitting down and sharing memories over a cup of coffee, hiking through the Oakland Hills sharing stories of the past and ideas of the future, a long phone conversation, going to dinner with girlfriends, taking a family road trip or just a good old fashion hug. At my mom’s memorial, when I got up to speak and saw my family and friends there to share their support and love, they did not have to say anything, they did not have to post a comment or hit reply button; just their presence said it all and immediately a connection was made in my heart forever.

VALID what!?

When you last used your debit card at a grocery store, what was the message the debit machine gave you? Or how about when you filled up your car and used your credit or debit card, what was the message the machine said to you? Unless it said “Declined”, I am guessing you do not remember. If so, that was a well designed system. You would be surprised the amount of effort, studies and testing that is put into designing user messages that are seamless to the user. It is an area called Usability. I once met a gentleman with a PhD in Usability, who knew? He was extremely passionate about it. He explained to me you should never say thank you or please in a user message, especially when requesting a user to enter required information, please makes it sound as if it is optional. He pointed out, a stop sign does not say Please Stop; it just says Stop. When I was developer I was notorious for long user messages that would always get edited down in user acceptance testing (UAT). I prided myself on my thank yous and pleases, I had no idea I was violating several “usability laws.”

Well, there is one user message that should be written a big fat ticket for completely violating “usability laws.” If you have driven over any bridge in Northern California, you know this message. For my FasTrak riders , what does it say when you go through? Valid ETC. I get the “Valid”, but “ETC”, really? What is ETC, estimated time of completion, etcetera? This is such a poorly designed message, it is not intuitive and it stays with the user waaaay to long. I mean, “Hello, I am blogging about it!” I remember when I first saw it; I was completely confused and upset, thinking that makes no sense! So, I finally researched it and found out what it meant, ETC – electronic toll collection. Ooooh, ok now that makes PERRRFECT sense, what was I thinking. I am sure some developers are giving each other high fives thinking wow this is so cool. Well, they clearly did not do UAT, because there is no way anyone outside of the toll collection industry would make that connection. I would rather go through the cash lane and have the toll taker throw my change at me after I say “Thank you, create a great day” or roll their eyes when I give them a hand full of nickel and dimes ; while these are not necessarily user friendly messages, I completely understand them.

Here is a user message that has something for everyone

“Happy Chriskwanzaka” *

*(combination of Christmas, Kwanzaa, and Hanukkah)

It's On!!

What is all the hype about 11/11/11? For starters, 111111 is the last number on the binary numerical system. But what is bittersweet for me, is this is the first and most likely last binary date of my life. Hence the reason I took a page shot of it on my computer. The next time that a date will look like the last binary number will be 100 years from now and chances are I won’t be here even though I will be a young 125 years old (smile wink).

Binary is a numeric system that uses 1s and 0s, on and off, to represent real numbers going from 0 - 111111. Your keyboard strokes and computer languages get converted into binary language for the computer to understand. Think of your computer being made up of a bunch of light switches and each switch controls one light bulb. You control the switch by setting it to 0, for off and 1 for on; 111111, would translate to all the lights being on.

111111 converted to a number is 63; which converted into a character is “?”, which leaves me with the question, do you think a hundred years ago, they were celebrating such a monumental occasion? Of course, for as long as there was life, Geeks roamed the planet.

I had a friend tell me "11/11/11 11: is binary code for 'Get a Life'". My response was, "Actually, 01000111 01100101 01110100 00100000 01100001 00100000 01101100 01101001 01100110 01100101 is 'Get a life' in Binary". I showed him!

Stop Jumpin on GrandMa's chair , it's complicated!

I read an article the other day on Levels of Complexity. It encouraged me to define complex vs. complicated within systems and even within the “Occupy” movement in the Bay Area. Stay with me, I promise I will make a connection.

Let’s start with a simple system. In a simple system, there are minimum inputs and the end result is predictable. For example, when you login into your email account and send an email. Same actions render same results, of course given you type in the recipients email address correctly.

A complex system requires more inputs and may have many other input factors unbeknown to the user. Regardless of the different moving parts and multiple inputs factors, the system has a rather understandable pattern and predictable output. Have you ever submitted an expense report or applied for something online such as a school application, credit card? There were several inputs to the system beside the information you gave as well as conditional logic to the process; i.e. expense report greater than $150, then need to be approved by person A, B and C, if less than $25 only person A, etc. Nevertheless, the system typically has a clear pattern and rather predictable outcome, approved or rejected.

In my mind, a complicated system is not something people design or aim to achieve; it is born out of neglect or lack of long term vision. It is typically a system that started off simple and grew to complex. Then to due years of short term maintenance fixes, (which I refer to as band aid code - just fixing symptoms of the problems instead of identifying and fixing the problem) and no real love, the system becomes complicated. We have all worked with or been a part of such systems. Remember when your company moved to the new payroll or benefit system? The old system never went away; they just created multiple interfaces from the old to new, ultimately creating one big complicated system. Hence the reason your paycheck had too many or too little dedications or your benefits had a glitch; all signs of a complicated system – unknown outcomes.

I then aligned these 3 types of systems to the “Occupy” movement in the Bay Area.

Occupy Danville/Blackhawk – simple- never will happen.

Occupy SF – complex – protesters will cause disturbance to commuters, shut down Market St. for a minute, no longer, cops will show up, maybe even in riot gear; outcome typically a peaceful protest.

Occupy OAK – complicated – protesters show up to a city that lacks strong leadership, police force understaffed and operates gorilla style, ranks in the top 10 of highest crime (http://www.abetteroakland.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/2010CrimeRankings.pdf); outcome teargas (not predicated) ,violence and looting (somewhat predictable to those that pay attention)

To step outside of my geek speak for a second and give a basic analogy, Oakland is like that old chair at your grandmother house. It has been there for a while, had some wear and tear. It even was reupholstered a couple of times, but the structure has never really had any maintenance, so it has 1 good leg and 3 shaky legs. Then the grandbabies (protesters) come through and start jumping on the chair and the chair gives out. The kids look at the chair and say in their Steve Urkel voice “Did I do that?” I saw on the news this am, the Oakland protesters saying they do not want to be associated with the violence that broke out. When you come to Oakland, a complicated system (see I, couldn’t stay away from geek speak too long) and start forcing it take on more, when it barely can operate with its daily load, what did you expect? While yes, some of them may not have taken part in the violence, they enabled the situation. If they cared about Oakland, they would have recognized it is a complicated system that needs to be overhauled and given some love. Work to better the infrastructure of the city, from helping disenfranchised youth in East Oakland, to HIV education in West Oakland. As long as grandma’s chair does not get an overhaul and folks are allowed to jump on it, this complicated system will always crash.